


A Punny Life

by Vegorott



Series: Danti One-Shots [5]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: M/M, So. Many. Puns.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-07 08:17:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13430688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vegorott/pseuds/Vegorott
Summary: At first, it seemed like harmless fun. They would range from innocent, to downright dirty. Sometimes the dirty ones involved several costume changes. Most of the time they were sweet and silly. Some days he would just go on and on. One day, I decided to join in his game. He’s lucky that I love him.





	A Punny Life

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a sucker for a good pun and punny pick-up lines always make me laugh.

_ At first, it seemed like harmless fun. _

Dark sat in the library of the house, book in hand and body relaxed as the words filled his mind. He lowered the book when he heard someone enter the room. 

“Anti?” Dark raised a brow when he saw Anti carrying an armful of limes. 

“Oops.” Anti said before dropping all of them. 

“Just...why?” Dark sighed, watching as Anti bent down and started gathering the limes back up but dropping them over and over again. Dark had a feeling that Anti was up to something, but he went over to the virus and began helping him. 

“Sorry. I’m bad at pick-up limes.” Anti said with a chuckle. Dark stopped and released the limes he was holding. 

“You bought twenty limes just to make a pun?” Dark asked. 

“And I’d buy twenty more to get your attention.” Anti said with a wink.

“We’ve been married for five years.” 

_ They would range from innocent, _

“I will try my best to get back by three.” Dark said while buttoning up his shirt. 

“Do you have to go?” Anti whined from the bed, not bothering to cover his bare body.

“If you like having money for a roof over our heads and clothes on our backs, then yes.” Dark went over to Anti and leaned over to give him a quick kiss. “It’s just a planning meeting. We’re assigning parts and that’s it.” 

“Why can’t you do that over the phone or email or something?” Anti placed a hand on Dark’s shoulder and rubbed it. 

“Because I have to make sure that everyone knows everything and no information goes unheard.” Dark answered, patting Anti’s hand before straightening back up. Anti let his arm flop down on the bed and he continued pouting.  

“Why does the meeting have to be so early in the morning?” 

“It’s ten.”

“That’s so early!” Anti dramatically rolled over. 

“Well, maybe if someone didn’t stay up so late, ten wouldn’t be so early.” Dark teased, sitting on the edge of the bed and slipping on his shoes.

“Don’t forget to tie those.” Anti sat up and leaned against Dark’s back, resting his chin on the demon’s shoulder. “I don’t want you falling for anyone else.” 

“I’ll be sure to double-knot them, then.” Dark kissed Anti’s cheek before getting back up. “Make sure to put pants on before letting Sparks back in, the neighbors don’t need to see that again.” Anti was going to say something but ended up laughing when there was a loud whine from behind their door. 

“I’m coming boy.” Dark said and opened the door, the black husky panting happily as he followed Dark. 

_ To downright dirty. _

“If you read the contract that you were sent, you would have seen in bright, bold letters. No bargaining on the prices.” Dark stated into the phone. “Now, I suggest that you change your tone. What you are trying to hire my company for is very illegal and I can get your ass in jail faster than you can blink.” Dark hit the ‘k’ of the last word sharply. There was a pause before Dark chuckled and smirked. “I’ll transfer you to my information center then. Have a good day.” 

“Goddamn.” Anti sang from the couch, having Dark’s conversation. 

“I had to get my point across.” Dark stated, tucking his phone away. “I’m assuming by the look on your face that you were entertained.” 

“You must be Medusa because you make me rock hard.” Anti said, a light scratching following his innuendo. 

“Go let Sparks in and I’ll see what I can do about that problem.” Dark chuckled. 

_ Sometimes the dirty ones involved several costume changes. _

“One more second!” Anti called out from the closet. 

“You drag me into the bedroom, make-out with me, throw me on the bed and then run into the closet, what are you up to?” Dark asked. 

“Argh, matey!” Anti threw open the closet door, showing that he was wearing a white shirt baggy pants, an eyepatch and was holding a fake hook. “I’m a pirate and I’ve got a lot of seaman waiting for you!”

“Wow.” Dark’s voice was dripping with sarcasm as she slowly clapped. 

“I got more.” Anti went back into the closet. 

“We need to work on your quick changes.” Dark said after a good bit of silence. 

“Well, baby I’m like a firefighter; I find them hot and leave them wet.” Anti said, lowering his voice as he slid the closet door back open. Wearing a fireman’s cap and pants with the suspenders, his shirt missing.

“That’s-”

“One more!” Anti closed the closet, yet again and Dark was contemplating whether to walk out or not. 

Can you help me with my science assignment?” Anti fully left the closet this time, wearing a lab coat that was held shut. His bare legs telling Dark that there was nothing else underneath. “I need to know how to get to Uranus.” It took everything in Dark’s being to not laugh. It wasn’t that the pun was that funny, it was just hearing that from Anti was sure something. “ Now, I might not go down in history.” Anti slowly walked over to Dark. “But I’ll go down on you.” He laughed before crawling into Dark’s lap. “So, are you a trampoline? Because I want to bounce on you.” 

“I’ll be whatever you want.” Dark chuckled and slip his hands into the lab coat. 

_ Most of the time they were sweet and silly _

Dark stepped out of the shower. He was ready to just lay down and go to sleep. The entire day was nothing but back to back meetings, apparently, everybody in the world wanted to hire murders and destroy someone’s life today. 

He dried his body off and wrapped the towel around his waist, realizing that he had forgotten to bring clothes into the bathroom with him, even though he was sure he did. With how the day has been going, he was just glad to have his head one correctly. 

“What are you doing?” Dark asked when he walked into the bedroom, seeing that Anti was quickly dialing his phone the moment he entered.

“I’m calling the cops because it’s got to be illegal to look that damn good!” Anti said. 

“I’m just going to say thank you.” Dark chuckled, removing the towel after he reached the dresser. 

“Good. Now get some pants on and come over here.” Anti sat up and held his arms out. “You’ve had a long day and I have an endless supply of cuddles.” 

_ Some days he would just go on and on _

Dark was leaving his office when he heard the front door open. Anti had a large smile on his face when he saw Dark. 

“I must be in a museum because you truly are a work of art.” Anti said. “Although, you do look like you’re lost because heaven is a long way from here.” Dark just rolled his eyes as Anti walked over to him. “And I know we're not socks but I think we'd make a great pair. Because life without you is like a broken pencil... pointless.”

“Are you about done?” Dark asked with a smile. 

“I could never run out of ways to compliment you.” 

_ One day I decided to join in his game _

Dark was chopping up some carrots in the kitchen. He was in the mood to make some stir-fry for dinner. Anti skipped in and hopped up on the counter next to Dark. 

“Anything new and exciting happen today?” Dark asked, knowing that Anti had just gotten back from a job. 

“Nah, it was boring and lonely.” Anti smirked as he leaned towards Dark. “Your lips also look so lonely, would they like to meet mine?”

“I guess you could call my lips Skittles since you want to taste the rainbow.” Dark watched as Anti gasped with joy and lunged at him, slamming their lips together.  

_ He’s lucky that I love him.  _

 


End file.
